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I keep typing, but no words appear...

My keyboard pisses me off. It is a wireless model, and if I don't fully extend my keyboard slider-shelf-thingie from my desk, the computer does not pick up my keystrokes. And, taking a lesson or two from Forrest Gump, that is all I have to say about that.

I have been spending more and more time evaluating and, perhaps, re-inventing myself. I cut down my anti-depressant meds to half of what I was taking. Now, before you become concerned, I am not stopping them. I'm not THAT stupid. Second, it's interesting seeing myself from, yet again, another perspecitve.

Before meds: I was a very highly spiritual, concerned, empathetic creature. Everyone's issues were my issues. And, due to stress and a way-overactive imagination, I slept a lot. And had suicidual thoughts, but rarely the tendencies.

After meds: My brain split in two. A wall went around the drama aned contained it into its own rubber room. Faintly heard, and rarely powerful enough to take over. The reason set in, and I begun to critically analyze everyone. I can teach Grade 9 students, parent a 4 year old boy, and still be "goofy". Where as my "personality" has not appear to change much, I have said goodbye to the ocean that was my creativity. I once drank from the trickle that remained.

Now: I'm trying to manage my emotions again. I'm hurt again from comments or opinions, and, perhaps, more vunerable this time since I know that I have access to steel armor in pink pill form. I am trying to stay motivated and deal with life in healthier ways. I'm thinking about becoming pregnant. My imagination is back, which is both good and bad. It is a comforting, long cloak that I can drape around myself and breathe in. I'm just more aware not to get lost in it.