?

Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

In a mood (part II)

So, I don't know if this is a temporary funk, or if it has started for this season.

I don't know if I'm seasonally depressed, depressed in general, or just plain crazy. Same thing every time: I sleep a lot more, I'm less productive, I find it very hard to make contact with the outside world (such as answering the phone), and listen to depressing crap over and over again.

Actually, I have been getting drastically better over the years. In high school, I used to be much more psychotic. I used to be more "fun", and be absolutely a blast to be around (or so I like to think). But, I used to be in a darker place as well.

Never did the chemical-balancing drug thing. Or the therapy thing. You are looking at pure determination and learning through the years how to cope.

Why am I writing this right now? Because I'm absolutely pathetic. I feel marginally better writing thoughts down. I may even delete this later. Perhaps it's a call for help, because who in the *bleep* writes about this crap?!? Only annoying people doing it for attention.

All I know is I am so incredibly lonely right now.





I'M SO TIRED OF BEING HERE
SUPPRESSED BY ALL OF MY CHILDISH FEARS
AND IF YOU HAVE TO LEAVE
I WISH THAT YOU WOULD JUST LEAVE
BECAUSE YOUR PRESENCE STILL LINGERS HERE
AND IT WON'T LEAVE ME ALONE

THESE WOUNDS WON'T SEEM TO HEAL
THIS PAIN IS JUST TOO REAL
THERE'S JUST TOO MUCH THAT TIME CANNOT ERASE

WHEN YOU CRIED I'D WIPE AWAY ALL OF YOUR TEARS
WHEN YOU'D SCREAM I'D FIGHT AWAY ALL OF YOUR FEARS
AND I'VE HELD YOUR HAND THROUGH ALL OF THESE YEARS
BUT YOU STILL HAVE ALL OF ME

YOU USED TO CAPIVATE ME
BY YOUR RESONATING LIGHT
BUT NOW I'M BOUND BY THE LIFE YOU LEFT BEHIND
YOUR FACE IT HAUNTS MY ONCE PLEASANT DREAMS
YOUR VOICE IT CHASED AWAY ALL THE SANITY IN ME

THESE WOUNDS WON'T SEEM TO HEAL
THIS PAIN IS JUST TOO REAL
THERE'S JUST TOO MUCH THAT TIME CANNOT ERASE

WHEN YOU CRIED I'D WIPE AWAY ALL OF YOUR TEARS
WHEN YOU'D SCREAM I'D FIGHT AWAY ALL OF YOUR FEARS
AND I'VE HELD YOUR HAND THROUGH ALL OF THESE YEARS
BUT YOU STILL HAVE ALL OF ME

I'VE TRIED SO HARD TO TELL MYSELF THAT YOU'RE GONE
AND THOUGH YOU'RE STILL WITH ME
I'VE BEEN ALONE ALL ALONG

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
(Anonymous)
Oct. 13th, 2003 03:02 am (UTC)
Um? Hi?

I saw in the AM yesterday and you seemed you normal chipper self. What's up? Is it possible that you are freaked out about the adventure you are about to embark on?

Enough of this sad talk! You know that if you need some cheering up there is a housefull of people waiting to fill you in on the activities of our lives.

Just get your butt over here.

OperaQueen.

P.S. If you stopped by, I may kick your ass at SkipBo or Yahtzee, whichever you prefer!
dreamfilled
Oct. 13th, 2003 08:06 pm (UTC)
*grins* Mucho gracias Senorita...

I'm doing okay, but I may take you up on your offer anyway. Plus, I think you're the delusional one if you think you can beat me.....
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

Latest Month

January 2014
S M T W T F S
   1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031 

Page Summary

Powered by LiveJournal.com
Designed by Teresa Jones