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My friend Epona wrote this, and I tend to agree with some of it. Isn't she witty? And yes, after donating blood, that one Heineken is hitting hard...

Hello all.

So yes, it is that time of year again ... the time when family reunions and bar-b-q's abound, when single people are constantly barraged with the question: "have you found a man yet?" Yes, you all know what it is like ... the dreaded question because then you have to defend your single status by saying something like "I am doing great on my own," after which you get the dreaded "Pity-look", the pat on the arm and the words "don't worry you will find someone soon," followed by the "Pity-smile", which is as dreaded as the "Pity-look." So I saw something on the internet today which made me smile "10 reasons to be single in the summer." Well, I was mostly disappointed in it, as it was mostly about trying to date in the summer, so I decided to come up with my own "10 Reasons to be Single in the Summer," many of which I will use when some inconsiderate boob feels the need to pry into my private life.

10 Reasons to be Single in the Summer

10. When you are single in the summer, the only wet spot you will need to sleep in is your own sweat.

9. Keeping with the sleeping issue, when you are single in the summer, you do not have someone's hot and sweaty body (and not the good hot and sweaty body thing going on either) throwing their arm over you while it is hotter and muggier than a Sumo wrestler's armpits outside, and infringing on the cool spot on the other side of the sheets which you are saving to lie in later.

8. The only person you have to consider when buying alcohol is YOU. No compromising! No: "I don't drink wine or coolers, so you'll have to pick up some beer for me before we go to the party."

7. No one is complaining when you want to take off to the beach with your girlfriends.

6. No one is complaining when you want to sit in a cool bath for a couple of hours when the heat and mugginess makes your hair look like you have been electrocuted in a rainstorm.

5. Sitting at a cafe drinking wine and watching people walk by is something you can do with girlfriends, not a man ... they do not see the enjoyment in people-watching. And summertime is the best time to people watch :-)

4. When you are single in the summer, the only puke you need to clean up in the morning after a party is your own.

3. Summer Flings. Need I say more? :-)

2. When you just can't take the heat anymore, and take off to a nice, air-conditioned movie theatre, you don't have to compromise and watch some gory man-flick so that they will go to the movie with you. You can pick the movie, eat as much popcorn as you want, and leave even AFTER the credits if you want.

And the Number One Reason to be Single in the Summer is ....

1. Face it. After a night at a bar-b-q/beach party/reunion, eating crap and drinking your face off, do you really want to have to SHARE your bathroom with anyone else?

Have a great summer all!

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
(Anonymous)
Jul. 17th, 2004 12:51 am (UTC)

10. When you are single in the summer, the only wet spot you will need to sleep in is your own sweat.

ok point, this one I accept.

9. Keeping with the sleeping issue, when you are single in the summer, you do not have someone's hot and sweaty body (and not the good hot and sweaty body thing going on either) throwing their arm over you while it is hotter and muggier than a Sumo wrestler's armpits outside, and infringing on the cool spot on the other side of the sheets which you are saving to lie in later.

Ok point, but if it bothers you that much, get your ass up and sleep somewhere else! .. the couch or something! Sleeping alone is always better anyway methinks!

8. The only person you have to consider when buying alcohol is YOU. No compromising! No: "I don't drink wine or coolers, so you'll have to pick up some beer for me before we go to the party."

Oh gee it sucks to have to think about others, especially when spending money on chemicals!

7. No one is complaining when you want to take off to the beach with your girlfriends.

????? why would that be a problem!?? . what kind of men do you deal with! . ..

6. No one is complaining when you want to sit in a cool bath for a couple of hours when the heat and mugginess makes your hair look like you have been electrocuted in a rainstorm.

Again, what the hell's the problem!? If you wanna sit in the tub, sit in the bloody tub! Who really gives a shit what you look like when you come out!?

5. Sitting at a cafe drinking wine and watching people walk by is something you can do with girlfriends, not a man ... they do not see the enjoyment in people-watching. And summertime is the best time to people watch :-)

This pisses me off. I LOVE people watching. And I'm pretty sure the fleshy lump betwixt my legs means I'm a GUY!

4. When you are single in the summer, the only puke you need to clean up in the morning after a party is your own.

Robyn, you know what I think of people drinking too much .. . I won't comment more.

3. Summer Flings. Need I say more? :-)

No problems here, but why do people like to keep them to the summer?

2. When you just can't take the heat anymore, and take off to a nice, air-conditioned movie theatre, you don't have to compromise and watch some gory man-flick so that they will go to the movie with you. You can pick the movie, eat as much popcorn as you want, and leave even AFTER the credits if you want.

Another piss off! If you don't like the kind of movies the twits you're dating like. Then find a better man!

And the Number One Reason to be Single in the Summer is ....

1. Face it. After a night at a bar-b-q/beach party/reunion, eating crap and drinking your face off, do you really want to have to SHARE your bathroom with anyone else?

Back to the drinking. . how nice... *shrugs*

I'm sorry Robyn, but I've had a guy friend of mine bitching and complaining at me about how much women suck for the last three weeks. And now you post your friend's bullshit with crap about "man-stuff". It's just stupid! People really need to stop bitching about and feeding off of their gender stereotypes! If you're a guy and you think all women are whores, then maybe you shouldn't be FUCKING THEM ALL THE TIME! And if you're a girl who hates "guy-movies", can't look bad kuz her man doesn't like it, isn't allowed to go out with her friends kuz her man doesn't like it, and thinks you can't relax and people watch with a guy kuz you've never found one who'll actually do it, FIND BETTER MEN. Don't fucking settle, get off your ass and find someone who actually suits your tastes! Or maybe everyone's just to happy getting drunk and bitching about how much the people they're fucking suck? I don't know. Goddaymn humans piss me off! I'm gonna go paint my nails then play with power tools in my garage. How's that sit with your fucking stereotypes? Goddaymnit?
dreamfilled
Jul. 17th, 2004 09:16 pm (UTC)
Wow. How shat in your cereal??? *shrugs* I found it humourous, but if you have been dealing with weeks of similar complaints, I understand why the rant.

If you need to rant more, you know my phone number. BUT STOP SWEARING IN MY JOURNAL!!! Damn hoser... *grins*
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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