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Hey you. Yeah, you. Just letting you know that I'm still alive. I may not talk for long periods of time, but I'm always thinking of you. Hope you have a groovy 2014. Babble at you soon.

I need a nap

It may be weird to admit this, but I really like Miley Cyrus’s song, “Wrecking Ball”. It tears at my heart strings.

It has been a hard couple of weeks. My depression decided to peek in, grab a chair, and not take the hint when I started flicking the lights on and off. Last Friday night was bad. I went out to a Candle Party. You know the type... you sit around, sniff candles, look at catalogues, and enjoy free food. Usually right up my alley. Near the end, I suddenly started to panic. Now, I am not one to have social anxiety. I sometimes wring my hands, but I’m usually pretty charismatic, so I scrape by. Not this time. My vision darkened, I couldn’t get enough air, and my hands started trembling. I managed to keep my shit together until I got in my car. I forced myself to take deep breaths so I didn’t crash while driving. I came in the house, went to the bathroom, and cried. No reason to cry, except for fucked up brain chemistry. I was good about a half hour later.

Things are going okay with me and the hubby. He moved back in just before summer break. We’ve talked. He’s agreed to go to counseling with me, but I haven’t made the appointment.

I just want to sleep for awhile. I have a sore thorat, and my patience is shot. I find my life doesn’t really give any alone time. And my family has a hard time understanding the need for quiet. Normally, it’s the other way around. I have often told my hubby that I don’t understand his ADD. He finally looked at me, with complete seriousness, and said “I can’t understand how you’re not”. Wow. Good point. I’m outnumbered.... I need to shut off my phone and disappear to write, I guess. I deal with people and noises in my face all day, to come home to it, drives me bonkers. No, I really don’t want to know about the last 10 things you built with Lego, who you’re mad at this week, and which YouTube videos I have to watch. No, I don’t need to look at various ATV stuff and start rearranging the house at 10:30 at night.

Maybe I’m the freak for demanding normalcy in an abnormal world. They are pretty patient when I don’t feel like hugging and kissing them, so I guess they put up with my type of crazy too.


A third of a century......
What should I think about that?

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On break

So, me and the hubby are "taking a break". What does that mean? He moved out a couple of weeks ago. We both agreed we need to find happiness. I was willing to do that with him (like the dynamic duo), but he said he needs space. I'm strangely okay with it. Or in shock.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.


TWG homework - for March 23rd, 2013

I've decided to write more. After my abysmal failure at NaNoWriMo, I decided to keep writing just for the heck of it. I rejoined the Writer's Guild after a 2 month hiatus, and this came from my first "homework assignment". I'm still ddabblingin the novel (over 15,000 words now), but it may be fun to write for writing's sake.

The homework: write a letter to a dying houseplant convincing it to live.

To my dying plant (which, unfortunately, there tends to be many)Collapse )

Writing???? What writing?

Okay, it's time to get back at it. I haven't done anything in over 2 months....

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.


Happiest place on earth

We are now at day 3 (maybe day 4) of Disney World. What a great place! Though, my heart does hurt a bit when I remember prices. Yikes!

J's reaction Xmas morning to the trip was a bit lackluster, maybe it was shock. The drive down to the City on the 26th went well. Then j's puking began. All night. All during the 27th: flight day. He pulled it together enough to be allowed on the planes. We arrived in the Animal Kingdom Lodge: Jambo House that afternoon, and rested.

On the 28th, we checked out Animal Kingdom Theme Park. Incredible! First think we did was Kilimanjaro Safari, which was AWESOME! I finally saw a real zebra and giraffe! J also experienced his first roller coaster on "Expedition Everest: the Legend of a Forbidden Mountain". Top the day off with Festival of the Lion King show, and we were super impressed with our day.

Yesterday was Downtown Disney. We got our shopping on, with the highlight being a visit to the LEGO store (highlight purchase: a mini figure ice cube tray). We ended the afternoon with DisneyInteractive Indoor Theme Park, complete with a ride to design your own roller coaster and then enter a simulator to act it out. We spent the evening relaxing at the resort (I doing laundry).

Today: Disney's Hollywood Studios.
Tomorrow: Magic Kingdom for New Years

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To infinity, and beyond!

Life is looking pretty decent. I have one heck of a cold, but besides drinking fluids like crazy with a side of ColdFX, not too much to be done about that. World didn't end, there was no school shooting (18 year old arrested for psych evaluation), and I even got all my marking done before the break started (granted, didn't go to bed until after 4:30 am that morning).

Tuesday is Xmas, Wednesday we head to the City, and Thursday we fly to Orlando to see the Big Mouse in Disney World!

That's right. Even if I did have any complaints, they would be pretty invalid.

Happy Holiday Season. Take care of yourselves and each other.

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Your average conversation

My 9 year old son: I'm gay
Me: Really, how do you know?
Son: I hate girls.
Me: *thinking* do you like to hug and kiss boys?
Son: *blank stare*
Me: are you just talking about playing?
Son: yeah. I only like playing with boys.
Me: you're not gay. Come back and tell me when you want to start kissing people.
Son: ew...
Me: *stops* have you been telling people you are gay?
Son: yeah.
Me: you may want to stop that.

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Morning Text

I awoke it 6:22 am with an angry text from one of my admin.

As a side note, probably a good thing since my alarm clock appeared to be turned off. Nevertheless, I continue.

She, who is a FB friend, saw a picture I took last night waiting in a line outside a dept store for the midnight release of "Black Ops II" and a joke saying that I hope the substitute teacher and the students enjoy the grammar sheets I left them in the sub plan.

She wrote in her text that she was "not impressed" since the personal day that I requested (and got approval for a week previous) was not showing up in her records. She printed off the FB posting and said she hoped I would show up to school today.

I replied saying I double checked, I am approved for the day off, and to have a nice day.

She replied not to put it on FB then. After all, it may give teachers a bad rep and we've got enough of that. I thanked her, and deleted the photo.

I'm trying to keep in mind that I consider her a friend as well, and sometimes friends aren't exactly the most smoothest when looking out for each other. I've been known to have placed my foot in my mouth (figuratively) quite a few times.

Then why, over a half an hour later, do I still have a bitter taste in my mouth?

(PS - even though it was freezing in line, it was kind of cool to hang out and joke around with other strangers - no pun intended)

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