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It's Tuesday, and I don't want to do anything.

I've been in a blah mood as of late, and yesterday was horrible. The self-organized "pity party" started around supper time. The house was tense since my boyfriend counldn't find his wallet, and he had a large amount of cash in it. I was hungry and all I wanted to do was eat. Happygoth dropped by to give my boyfriend his wallet (which was in his car from last night), my sister phoned, a friend phoned, my mother phoned. If you know me, I hate being interrupted when it comes to food.

So, I was updating my mom about life (since she was phoning from out of country), and it really hit me. I felt really alone. I have no family here, and the only friends I have is aolfe and happygoth. That can be... oh, I don't know... since they are not only my friends, but they are close friends with my boyfriend as well. I've been feeling pretty well useless lately, and, sometimes, video games cheer me up. I know, I sound like an angsty geek. *grins*

As I was trying hard not to cry on the phone, I hear it. I hear my boyfriend yell at Baby J and a loud, slapping noise. Phone still in hand, I rushed down stairs where Baby J was heading towards his room (where he had been told to go). I sat with Baby J in his room, hugged him, and cried with him.

I went downstairs to where my boyfriend was sitting, and I tried to speak to him, but the words only came out in a whisper.

"Don't you ever talk to him like that again."

"Don't freak out on me. He was choking and wouldn't take the fingers out of his mouth. You should ask before you start accusing."

After yelling at me, he stormed downstairs. I didn't take the time to appreciate the irony that he told me not to freak out when he was the one that did. I tried to tell him that I didn't yell at him or anything, but it got to be too much. I grabbed my keys and left. I drove for a bit, parked the car, and screamed my head off.

Yes, we talked later. Yes, everything is okay. No, my food went right into the garbage later that night. No, Baby J is not hurt at all. I survived my first relationship "disagreement" and actually tried expressing my feelings rather than bottling them up and letting the relationship self-destruct. Because I actually want this one to work.

Yep, yesterday sucked. I think I'm going to have some breakfast, play a little video game, and go pay more bills.


( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
Jul. 26th, 2005 07:37 pm (UTC)
***BIG HUG***

Bo Beri
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )

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